If they can argue with it – it’s poor feedback

Here is the third in my series on giving constructive feedback

Feedback Blockers

If people perceive themselves to be under attack they will make attempts to protect themselves. Here are some of the reactions you may need to be prepared for:

Defensiveness
“I’m not the only one who does that”

Resistance   
“There’s no way I can change – why should I?”

Denial   
“I’m not to blame for that”

Justification   
“I can explain”

Attack   
“What about them, they’re not perfect”

Inward Focus  
“Is this what people have been thinking about me?  And all the time I thought they liked me”

Refusing to Listen   
“Here we go again”

Excuses  
“That wasn’t my fault – I was told the wrong things”

Distrust of the Person/Process  
“It’s obvious – someone’s got an axe to grind”

Masking True Feelings    
“I’ll rise above this – I don’t care”

Pre-prepared Arguments   
“I knew they were going to bring that up.  Well, let me tell you my side …”

Concentrating on the person behind the feedback   
“I bet I know who said that”

Own the feedback – and be firm about why they need to be aware (i.e. the impact it has) and that you expect change.

‘If they can argue with it – it’s poor feedback’

To read the full article now, plus gain access to other free related articles go to my downloads page.

Caroline Cooper

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